Please, critique and give tips on my essay?

thanks in advance…i shall try to answer as many of your questions in the future…x

oh yeah, i am in grade 7 (year if that helps

ok…so basically it is an essay to compare the similarities and differences between feudal europe and feudal japan.

Although they are a vast distance from each other, both Medieval Europe and Medieval Japan experienced a similar feudal period. During the Middle Ages, both lands had many qualities alike, but several of the differences were quite significant and made them each unique. Some of the main ideas which can be compared are the feudal hierarchy, the importance of land, and the code of the warriors. Whilst the middle Ages were a time of change, exploration and development for Europe, it was also a time for isolation, seclusion and continuity for Japan.

The feudal hierarchy was an organized way to keep order in both Japan and Europe. The King or Emperor was at the top and would provide land to Lords or Shoguns in exchange for an oath of loyalty and also for providing soldiers during battle (Docs #2, #4 and #5). The Lords or Shoguns provided Land and Peasants, to Knights or Daimyo in exchange for military service (Doc #1). The nobles also would provide a small portion of the land, shelter and protection to peasants in exchange for farming the land and providing food from the land supplied (Doc #3). One major difference between medieval Japan and medieval Europe is that in Japan, merchants were considered as the lowest class, because they did not produce their own goods but just traded them for expensive prices. Meanwhile, in Europe the peasants were at the bottom of the hierarchy. They had very few rights and were tied to the manor and could not leave without the Lord’s permission. In feudal times the amount of land that someone had, dictated their status on the social hierarchy and soon became equivalent to the amount of power, wealth and authority he had.

Land was extremely important during the middle ages and only wealthy people had large amounts (Doc #2). Manors were built up, and whole villages lived under the control of nobles. Farming dominated the lives of both European and Japanese peasants. They would be given a small patch of fields to farm for themselves, whilst the rest would be reserved for the crops of the Nobles (Doc #3 and #6.) The peasants would follow a yearly schedule of 3 fields, to allow the soil to absorb back its needed nutrients. The land usually had a castle keep, where the Nobles would live, as well as a river or a moat for water and fish. Manors were surrounded by strong stone walls, as their main purpose was to protect the inhabitants from invaders. An example of a difference is that, although in feudal Japan, the samurai swore fealty to their local lords (Doc #2,) the local lords did not give them any land of their own. Instead, they were given an income in the form of food produced by the serfs of the local lord. In contrast, European knights usually received a large area of land and a number of serfs to work on them.

The warriors, both knights in Europe and Samurai in Japan tried to keep peace within the lands, but they also kept their weaponry ready for use (Doc #8). During the course of the Middle Ages, both Japanese and European warriors began to experience changes in their social status and their essential responsibilities. In Japan, Samurai began to value life and the beauty of nature and were soon forced to give up their lands and take the positions of highly ranked government officials (Doc #6.) In Europe however, knights were becoming less and less important as time passed. This change occurred because Kings began to organize larger and better equipped armies (Doc #9.) Also another similarity would include, both European knights had chivalry and Japanese samurai had Bushido. These were both a set of rules that dictated the way that a true warrior must behave. Although these rules were not identical, many of the main ideas were present in both cultures.

Although both Europe and Japan independently created and developed an idea of feudalism during approximately the same period of time, both had many unique customs and traditions that made them very diverse, but also similar in many other ways. These differences and similarities could be found in many different ways, including The Feudal system, The Code Of The Warriors and also, The Importance Of Land.
i enjoy history 2

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