I met my now husband when he was married, cut a long story short we married, hada baby daughter moved abroad, left our whole lies behind. Now in my heart i know i love him, since our daughter was born we haven’t had a healthy sex life, we’ve taken vitamins, eat healthy etc, its just i think we really dont fancy each other anymore. I look at him differently now……i left my whole world for him my career in the british army, which i loved! i just think once he told his ex he was leaving for me it was hard for him to turn back, he’d made his bed etc. Not a Q really just needed to get this off my chest, as i’ve not made any friends since moving abroad & i’m so used to having many.
lexie j, get over yourself
I’m 25yrs have a 3yr old from a previous, my now hubby saw me threw my pregnancy our little lad is considered his. He also has 2 boys from his previous, he doesn’t see them as his ex took them to new zealand as a punishment to him (naughty we know). I just want to feel love to him like i used too
yeah i also know its karma etc, but we all deserve a 2nd chance, those of you who vent anger are obviously still bitter. We have moved on from his ex, & she is happy without him, says i did her a favour she’s reivented herself. So whilst it hurt initially it all turned out gravy x
i said we had a baby, she’s 24mths now! P.S. light of his life x
does anyone know my periods are irratic we r desparate to start a family i just havent got a clue where to start tracking as my husband isnt the most sexually motivated man in the world i feel like im fighting a losing battle as i cant even begin to pinpoint days is there any vitamins that will regulate me and are there any vitamins i can give hubby to help him too thanks xxx
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uh, what’s the question? In the answers guidelines it says “No Venting allowed”
Everyone has low times, you will be fine follow your heart
Good luck
You can’t break up a marriage and live happily ever after.
o.k.
(HUG) It sounds like there are some resentful feelings there. I would recommend marital counseling. Love is a choice too. It is natural for the love “feelings” to diminish over time. I found that when I started making choices to do things and say things that were loving, that my heart starting loving the person more. As for not having many friends, I would encourage you to join a mom’s group if your child is not yet in school, or start helping at school to meet some new women. Or join a club that centers around a hobby, like a book club or running, or knitting or clay pidgeons, bowling, whatever you like.
Hi Blue Eyes
You sound very lonely and unfulfilled. You need something besides your daughter to focus on, and a life on your own that’s separate from your relationship. I think your relationship is an issue of it’s own.
Have a good honest think about what you want and whether he’s the man you want. Also about what you want from your life…and make decisions based on what you come out with. Write it all down (somewhere he can’t find it) and it will become clearer. You will only become more and more unhappy unless you get something of your own that you’re enthusiastic about (baby aside).
hey,
life is to short i know you have a baby with this man but do you really want to be with him forever it will only make your daughter unhappy if your not. think you only get one chance in life make it a good one.
hope everything works out for you and dont be to hard on yourself.
blondie xx
hold on in there u have both been through a lot an u are still together talk 2 him about the way u feel it might not be as bad as u think good luck
Hi,
I really feel for you. But I do feel this can be sorted if that is what you BOTH want!
Having a baby is a big step in any relationship and sex after having a child can be off the agenda for a while and then it becomes the norm to just climb into bed and sleep and have no sex!
Once that happens the old insecurites creep in such as does he still fancy me? Did we move way too fast? ect…
I do feel that maybe sadly you resent him a little bit as regards to having to leave the job you liked and move country ect … maybe I way off key here and if so I apologise!!
But if you do feel this then it can be hard to look at that person and find them sexy when you feel that they have taken complete control over you … without really knowing it.
One thing to do is to get yourself out there meeting new friends … this is easy to do … if your daughter in school then strike up a conversation with the other mothers there … maybe ask if they would like to come round for a coffee after school ect …
Or maybe there are local courses where you can do something you enjoy and meet other people … how about finding work to fit around the family and to give you back your own identity.
Is there a friend who may have your daughter overnight or for a few hours one night so that you and your husband can spend time alone and rekindle the spark and discover why the two of you fell in love in the first place?!
As time goes by in any relationship, things happen that make us review and reflect on our relationship so don’t feel you are alone in thinking that.
It sounds to me that you genuinely love your husband and this is scaring you as to whether there is any attraction left. I would pledge my bets on saying that there is but that the two of you have no time alone to act upon it!
Find a babysitter and spend some time as a couple – go out for a meal or stay in and have a few hours having a nice meal at home and looking through wedding album and pics of your little one as a baby and just talk and talk and talk.
Communication is the key!
Wishing you all the best and trust me this marriage WILL work!
Lx
i would cook a nice meal and tell him how you feel
Hi there ….Having a baby can have a major impact on any happily maried couple .. it is normal …
Of course you still fancy him as you wouldnot be writing this ..What you two need is some quality time together without the baby ..
Also you have the added implications ofliving in germany where it is boring .Work is hard to come by and you feel bored and useless and trapped in a goldfish bowl where your whole life is being watched by the army..
Being in the army it ishard to make friends and you will have heard the horror stories of pads wives no doubt …
Right here is a plan .. go to mums and tots .. get yourself out of the house and socialise with mums ….
Plan some quality time with him before he goes away and get your hair done…..and start feeling better about yourself as this is it now …
How do i know ? I gave up my life and very good job to marry a solider ..I had been in bfg for 8 years and i know it is not easy .
Get out and make yourself known . .you can not make friends stuck in the house ….
This is your life now and you can not turn the clocks back ..I wish you luck and i know you will be fine xxxxxxxxx
i found myself in a somewhat similar situation. i’ve been with my husband for 10 years, and i was his mistress. we had a baby after we got married and i am quite bored and unhappy with him as well. i left my town and came to his. i quit my job and now am a stay at home Mom, which is driving me nuts. I do love my child, though. i look at my husband differently every day, and i seem to not even like him as the person that i once adored and was willing to change my whole life for. sometimes, i need to vent too because he and i do not even communicate, nor do we have a great sex life either. i think this is my payback for sleeping with someone else’s husband…i probably deserve it.
what goes around comes around!!! serves you right
Got what you earned,
i think you both made ur beds. It is all good when u r oing through the “courting” phase but when you add baby to the mix it makes it hard. He went from one marriage to the other. Do u even know y he started cheating in the first place. Ny husband and I are haveing the poor sex life part of your story. Also happened after baby so I can see where u r coming from. Vitamins r good but getting some rest will help to. U have no idea what a lil sleep can do for you.
What whole lies did you leave behind? Moving away does not change anything…you take your baggage with you….sorry that there is a child involved in this sad situation. Hope you can make a happy life, with or without this man.
actually you probably need to make some friends and then your marriage might be fine again. He can’t feed that side of you that other women friends can and if you are trying to push him to be a female friend, he’s probably feeling a little suffocated. Get something, an activity that is yours alone and see if things just start improving…
I had a friend recently give up everything to move with her husband and they were in trouble quickstyle. They moved to a community where she was not able to speak the local language and she was just so lonely. That loneliness made her dependent on him and normally she’s the strong one in the relationship and it just threw everything into a tailspin. SO, she built a life of her own that is separate and let him just come back (they never separated or divorced, I mean comeback in a frame of mind sort of way) when he was ready which happened fast when she was independent again…
Mabye this will help, maybe not, but good luck either way.
Have you been to the doctor about this? Maybe there is a physiological reason why you aren’t feeling turned on by your husband.
Then there’s timing – often my partner and I don’t get to bed till really late because he’s working, and then I just fall asleep! And we don’t even have any children so compared to you we have a really easy life.
Another thing you could try is a few books like Anne Hooper’s Great Sex Games, or Hot Sex by Tracey Cox – something like that might give you some renewed interest. Good luck.
http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/27000504/
i hope this website will help you i have the same problem after 4 miscarriages this helped me
no there is no vitamin that will do that. What you need to do is go to the doctor and tell him that you want to be put on something to regulate your period-there are some pills out there that are made for just that i think that one of them are called Provera. Then once you get your periods regulated you will be able to know when you ovulate-GOOD LUCK and baby dust-go make that appt
your dr can take blood tests to see if/when you have ovulated.i have had this done in the past.from the results he/she can prescribe you a medicine to regulate ovulation. hopefuly this will work!
Brazil nuts might work for hubby. A natural way to increase interest apparently. Try adding them to his food. Supermarkets do a seed mix that contains chopped up Brazil nuts – it’s really tasty sprinkled on a salad.
Looking at both of your diets is probably a good starting point and is something that your doctor will mention if you go to see him/her.